Father's Day 2014

This has been quite the year of firsts- some happy and some sad. This holiday is bittersweet as it's Matt's first official Father's Day and also the first Father's Day without his Dad, Andy. In honor of both men, I'll be sharing Henry's birth story as that was a very happy time- the day Matt became a Dad.

I was 13 days past my EDD. I woke up early on that morning, Oct. 8 to start my 2nd try of castor oil (highly recommend by the birth center as I was nearly 14 days past due). I felt something was different as I woke up and decided to give it a bit before I actually put myself through that again, and now looking back, I'm glad I did! I started having contractions around 4:45am and they got consistently closer together and stronger. We labored at home until contractions were about 4 minutes apart lasting for a very looooong, strenuous minute (mine actually were longer than 1 minute). Matt labored with me the entire time.

We headed out to the birth center around 4pm, excited and nervous all at once. When we arrived, I was checked and they said I was 4 cm dilated and partially effaced. They kicked us out to go eat dinner and walk myself further into labor. And Matt was by my side the entire time.

We got back around 7pm where the midwife reluctantly allowed us to a room where we spent the next 18 hours laboring in which I reached 7 cm dilated- unmedicated. My water broke sometime in the wee hours that morning and it was suggested that I wasn't progressing as quickly as they'd hoped, and Henry wasn't engaged like he should be, so we took our show to the hospital around 2pm on Oct. 9. Despite my reluctance, Matt was by my side.

When I got there and in a room, I needed some relief and rest having been up for around 38 hours laboring so I got an epidural and we waited for mister Henry to drop his head down into the birth canal. After about 5 more hours of laboring at the hospital and hearing from the Dr that Henry was probably just too big to fit, and Henry's heart rate had started to drop (though not drastically) at this point, we decided that what was most important was to deliver a healthy baby, and how he gets here wasn't as important. I wanted an unmedicated, vaginal delivery so badly. I wanted to be able to pull my own baby out of me and deliver him to his father. But those feelings were soon trumped with thoughts of just getting Henry out-safely. And Matt was by my side.

They wheeled me back into surgery and prepped me before they let Matt in. I can honestly say that I was not scared. All those feelings of prior fear had left me and I had made peace with the cesarean that was about to commence. Plus, I had Matt there cheering me on. Matt and I waited in anticipation for the Dr to tell us that Henry had arrived. Matt peaked over the blue curtain and at 1:46am he announced that Henry was here! In the end he got to see his son be born and take his first breath. Although it wasn't the method that we had planned for, it was still a beautiful moment- all 9 lbs, 7 oz, 22.5 inches long. Perfectly happy; perfectly huge! He did not come out crying, he came into the world peacefully. And Matt was by my side.

Eventually Henry discovered his well-developed lungs and started to cry. Matt walked over to him and spoke to him, and Henry immediately calmed down. He knew who his daddy was just by hearing his voice. Daddy's voice was now his comfort outside of the womb; I was no longer the only one that provided that comfort to him. Daddy became his hero right then. And Matt was by his side.

I got to nurse Henry about 15 minutes or so after the delivery and Henry took right to it. We joked that he came out begging for a cheeseburger! ;) We welcomed our eagerly awaiting parents in to introduce them to their grandson- first my mom and Matt's mom and then Matt's Dad and step mom. We were two proud, new parents, now connected by this sweet, tiny human life we made-together.

Matt,
You were by my side through the countless hours of labor and finally the delivery. I couldn't have gotten through that without you encouraging me and giving me all the love and support! But my fondest memory will always be when you introduced Henry to your dad- father to father.
It was a beautiful moment to see the look on your face and with tears in your eyes, as you silently confirmed to your dad that you now "get it", you understand the overwhelmingly scary, yet wonderfully emotional feeling of becoming a father for the first time. The hug that followed that inducted you into the New Dad Club: where there's no rules- only what works for you, no membership fees- there's not enough money in the world that can come close to buying this feeling, and certainly no judgment- only love and support. Beautiful moment between Father and Son; 3 generations. And I was by your side.

We didn't leave that hospital room for 4 WONDERDUL days. We just sat there and basked in the beauty of parenthood, both admiring each other for the roles we had played in the birth of our perfect son. I didn't have a to change a diaper for the first 2 weeks because you jumped in there and got your hands dirty. I was amazed and thankful. You never stopped saying how proud you were of me…of Henry, but I was soo proud of you. You climbed right into your fatherly role without skipping a beat. And I got to be by your side.

When we arrived home, it was the 3 of us enjoying our exended honeymoon for another week. It was an amazing bonding experience that I'll always be thankful for. We got to be by your side.

I'm so proud of you as a father. You had a wonderful example and that's one of the reasons that I fell in love with you- I knew you'd be a great father one day. And now, my thoughts are confirmed when you hold our baby boy or introduce him proudly to someone new, or just sit there and stare at him in awe. I look forward to watching your relationship with Henry grow, and I'll be so proud to be standing by your side.

Happy Father's Day, Sweetheart. I love you, and Henry does too!

To the man that helped raise my son's father- thank you. You passed down characteristics of a true man-one who is generous, loving, and compassionate. Henry is blessed to have a father who had a wonderful father. You are truly missed and we think about you all the time. Happy Father's Day in heaven.

Heisel Rules!

Henry is 8 Months!

You know, babies are much like flowers- you feed them, you water them, and they grow. I just wasn't quite prepared for how quickly he would grow!

He has mastered crawling…on his knees. It only took about 2 weeks and he was fully mobile, and quickly! Oh my word, I dare not look away or he'll have crawled across the room in a blink! He's also been bear crawling (hands and feet) for about a month. He did even before crawling! It's so funny- he does the Downward Dog yoga pose, crawl a few feet, then back to the Downward Dog yoga pose…all.the.time. It looks as if he will just come to a full stand. He's been pulling up on things for about 2 weeks so he's SO close!

He's curious about doors and drawers. He can open drawers at his height now. And just today he opened a lower cupboard in the kitchen. Here we go!

He's mastering recognition- he sees men in Army uniforms and gets really excited thinking it's Daddy. When the person doesn't respond to him like Daddy would, he almost looks disappointed.

He is starting to like more solids (well purees)- apple, banana, green beans, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, squash, and yogurt (he LOVES yogurt)!

He still has his sweet demeanor, but occasionally he throws a fit (see pic) and he loves to play with things he shouldn't- remotes, cell phones, cords. He's also teething and occasionally bites us. Hopefully this stops really soon! Ouch!

I love that he smiles at people in the grocery store and makes friends wherever  we go!

He still loves Bella dearly, to which the feelings are not mutual. Dare I say- poor Bella! He's faster now and can almost keep up with her.

I'm not sure how I got so lucky to be Henry's momma, but I'm sure glad I am.

Heisel Rules!

First steps

We celebrate many first steps in life- our actual first steps, first jobs, moving, dating, and then two years ago as husband and wife. I've reflected on my fondness of our wedding day before (here). I've doted on how much it meant that all of our family and friends were there and how in love we were, and still are. It was the perfect day. Now, two years later, we've expanded our family and welcomed Prince Henry into our lives. Nothing can prepare you for how much deeper your love will grow when you bring a child into the world. It has deepened our bond beyond any measure.

I want us to be a shining example to Henry, to be the parents he deserves and to show the kind of love to one another that he will seek in his (distant) future lady. Let's not leave a hug untouched or a kiss unturned, even if one day he thinks it's gross. I don't want there ever to be a doubt in Henry's mind that his parents loved each other very much! We took a vow to each other, and that meant to our future selves as well- as parents, future in-laws, and very distant future grandparents. I think we're embracing it beautifully.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that it's been a tough year, with the passing of Andy, but as I reflect on our time with him, I still feel his love in our lives. He got to be there for many of our first steps together and I'm so thankful for that. He got to meet his son's first born son and there's nothing in the world that can erase the memory of you introducing Henry to your Dad. It was a beautiful moment and I'm so thankful that he got to be there.

…and now as we watch with pride as our son will soon take his first steps, let us not forget all the steps that brought us to this place. I sometimes ponder on whether I'd do anything different in life if I was given the chance and I always come back to the same thought- 'I wouldn't be the person I am today and I may never have met you if I would've changed even the smallest of things.'

I am sure of one thing, though, for better or for worse, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, from our first steps together until our last, I will always love you.

Happy two year Anniversary, babe! Cheers to many, many more!

Heisel Rules!