Remembering...

Early this morning I was awoken by the stark ringing of the phone. As I felt around in the dark room, following the light to my phone, the name 'Amanda' shown on my cell phone. "Oh no" I kept uttering over and over again subconsciously. I only hoped that it wouldn't be what I thought. Amanda's soft voice quivered as she delivered the bad news. Matt flashed across my mind. How was I supposed to tell him this? He had hoped to be able to see him right when he got back. Immediately I put in a Red Cross message (the second one in about a 6 hour period of time) delivering the bad news with the hopes that I could subliminally ask Matt to call me so I could deliver the news a little gentler.

I lay back down, but my brain wouldn't stop.

3:30am: Phone rings and this time it's Matt. I answer, trying not to sound sleepy so he doesn't feel bad about calling so late. He had received the first Red Cross message, but not the second. I had to break the news to him and I felt so bad because he is 7400 miles across the world and I'm sure he feels so helpless. Unfortunately, they wouldn't let him come home.

It's difficult to provide comfort in an instance like this, over the phone. What do you say? I simply reminded him that he was given the privilege to visit with Grandpa Freddie before he left for deployment. It was an amazing visit. I would say that it is my fondest memory. I remember that Grandpa Freddie was sitting outside by himself when we walked up. We talked with him about everyday things and he wished Matt well, begging him with tears in his eyes to do all he could to come home alright. He said he was proud of Matt. Not a dry eye in the house! I loved his advice for Matt about love: 'Always hold your wife's hand in the parking lot, open the door for her, tell her she is beautiful-everyday, and occasionally pat her on the butt and tell her you love her.' I loved the way he stated that - so blunt, but so true. He was a lover and I love that he passed that advice down! You bet Matt follows each of those and he learned it from the best! I remember as we walked to the truck, hand in hand, Matt said, "That might have been my last visit with him, but it was a great one!" Bittersweet describes it well. Bittersweet.

This photo was taken that day. They both really do look very happy! I'm glad I got to share this moment!

Thank you, Grandpa Freddie, for teaching my mister the ways of love! Thank you for making such an impact on him and for being such a strong role model! I hope you are resting in heaven in the front seat of your favorite classic car, feet kicked up on the dash, bucket of popcorn, watching down on the lives of your loved ones playing like your favorite drive-in movie. You will be missed, but never forgotten! We love you.

To all of his children, family and friends, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I know he was a great man and he will be missed. I hope you can find strength in the happy memories that each of you have shared with him. Let that provide you some comfort. Time will heal your pain. Big hugs to each of you!

In the name of Grandpa Freddie - HEISEL RULES!